I don't think I want this anymore

I'm tired but I just don't wanna sleep. (It's 5.19am now)

My biological clock is officially screwed and I can't be bothered to do anything about it at all.

I wanna blog but I don't know what to blog about.

I don't wanna bore you with my day because it's insane for you to wanna find out what I've been doing every single day.. although maybe that's the primary reason why you keep coming back to visit the blog. But, whatever.

I wanna talk to someone about stuffs bothering me, but when I gathered company, all I wanna do is stone away and talk about misc. happenings.

I appreciate the people who cares, but I don't know how to express my gratitude.

I think I need you in my life, but I don't know how to let you know all that's bottled inside because I always just chicken out and shut myself down.

I wanna rebut the things you said to me, but I don't know what to say.

I am not entirely convinced, but there's little to what more you can say.

I want you to know the reason why I'm so upset is because I hold you so close to my heart and I'm so scared what that have been going through my head all these while will just come through because it'd be so unbearable.

And I don't know how to spell it out to you because it just makes me want to break down.

I don't know what I want.

I don't know what I think I know anymore.

And you don't have to know wtf is going on in my life now, if you're still clueless. Although you can easily turn to Gossip Girl, the OC or whatever.. because I feel somewhat like I'm in a drama but with no frills.


Our lives ain't complicated. We just complicate stuffs without realizing so, invite shits and make ourselves look so pathetic to people who actually bothers to see.