The Dummy Guide On How To LOOK OLD.

Time : 11.15 pm

BY: LOW YING TING

DATE: 25/06/2005 (SATURDAY)

PUBLISHER: BLOGGER

DISCLAIMER: MYSELF.

Ahh~ This is my specialty, and I decided to share my classified, hush-hush, supersecret, under security restrictions and under wraps classified information, code, confidence, confidential information, enigma, formula, key, magic number, mystery, occult, oracle, password, privileged information, puzzle, recipe, unknown ! (Thesaurus rocks.)

Frist thing first.. WHY in the world do you wanna look old for?

Simply, many of us are not 16 but yet, we couldn't resist a good o' NC-16 show; same goes for the M-18 or R-21 rated shows. Plus, maybe of us are not 18 yet, and yet we still wanna act tough and all macho and drink liquor, even though we couldn't handle the alcohol. To the smokers as well.. There are plenty underage smokers (Not that I encourage it though. *frowns*)around. We just love to break the rules right? But you'll need this.. enigma (it sounds the best in the Thesaurus.)..

Some of you can smugly tell me now that "I am already overage!". But hey, many are still underage okay. Hahaa. But if you look like this:


WHAT?! I don't look mature enough for you?!

I think this Dummy Guide is not going to help you in one way or another.


ONE

Always look/dress cool!

Like this:



...

I'm kidding. But hey, it takes a lot of courage to dress like that. *cracks up* According to the books of the 18(16)-years-old, cool is the key (Hey! It rythmes!). It's also a bonus as humji cashiers might reckon that you are a chao ah lian/beng and let you get away with if; 'cause they don't enjoy playing with fire ya.

Remember: Be cool, Stay cool. You can definitely get a Heineken by that. Get it? HAHA. The Be Cool advertisment of Heineken?


TWO

The heck-care attitude.

Well, if you're going to look all panicky and stiff, there's no way the clever cashier is going to even think that you're close to 18.

I remember there was once when Kelly and I tried to buy liquor from the ECP 7-11. I was kinda apprehensive about the outragous fact that I am nowhere near 18. I believed my face was rather pale, and I swear my knees were turning jelly. Naturally, that cashier doubted that I was 18 and we ended up sulking on Jolly Sandies (plural. :)).

Try clicking aimlessly into your phone. But your phone cannot have those oh-so-cute dangling accesories. It'd work better if your phone has a classy touch. :)

This has something to do with being cool too, so.. refer to ONE. (I am lazy to think of what to say lah.)


THREE

This only applies to the girls, but if you're metrosexual.. Up to you then. :) *shruggs*

Apple lip-stick before purchasing.

But if you want to apply after purchasing, no one's going to stop you.

BUT HOR !! *panicks* Cannot do this okay!



You will scare the cashier, AND the people around you to death.


The purpose of the lipstick is not to seduce the cashier to allow him (her? DUH.) to let you purchase tickets/liquor/cigarette despite your tender age. Lipstick makes a girl/woman looks older, with a soft touch, that might make people think," This lady here is so not going to lie or cultivate bad karma."

I don't know why but the lipstick always help me go over the 16/18 years-old line. :) It had been a success for me whenever I use the lipstick. You can try lipgloss though, but I don't know if it'd work, so don't find me if it doesn't.


FOUR

Do not show your braces. (only applies to those with braces, of course.)



Braces make people look young, childish (and ugly). Period.


FIVE

Be unconcerned about the youngsters in your surroundings.

Yongsters: Your friends who might not look as chao lao like you are. (SOBS. This is specially for me.)

The cashier might not be as dim-witted as you think, you know. She/He might be glancing around the store just before you purchase and see you chatting at the back with a bunch of children who obviously do NOT look like they are overage. Now now, that would make her/him thinks that you are decieving her/him right?

Try to do this alone or with someone else who looks just as old as you are.

**DISCLAIMER: This post is just for entertaining purpose, but if it works for me, I don't see why it wouldn't work for you. Unless you really look underage, then I couldn't help you in that case. :) Worse come to worst, get a kind-looking adult nearby to buy for you okay? But as your friendly pal here, there are not many Samaritians in this small dot ya. Do not NOT NOT find me if you tried my methods and they don't work okay. I will scared and pee in my skirt one leh. *shiver*

I am so bored. :)

*sings out loud* STONES AND STICKS MIGHT HURT ME. BUT WORDS CAN NEVER~

[EDIT]I totally screwed up the pictures. I know. *nods sadly* You'll just have to do with it, and click to view because I *cough*direct*cough*linked*cough*from*cough*the*cough*site*cough*itself*cough* Many apologies![/EDIT]

[EDIT EDIT]I think the pictures are up already. *yawns*[/EDIT EDIT]